Your Narrative & Your Imposter Syndrome…

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A narrative is ‘a spoken or written account of connected events; a story.’

Your narrative is the story you tell about yourself.

There was a time in my life when I did not even want to look at myself in the mirror.

There was a time in my life when I was afraid.

I grew up in a family where criticism was the norm and the critical voices were loud and what seemed like, never-ending.

My father was never home and my mother avoided conflict at all costs.

It was hard for me, but God enabled me to work through it.

It was because of Him, that I developed the faith that I have.

Up until a few years ago, I let myself get pushed around.

Not too long ago someone at work had a dead battery.

Instead of asking me to help him jump it,

He simply told me, ‘You’re helping me jump my car.’

I guess he knew he could get away with it and I wouldn’t put up a fight.

Not too many years earlier a Director at another company screwed up and told his boss, it was my fault. I didn’t stand up for myself and he got away with it.

More recently, I’ve come to see my life differently…

I realize my father was immature and had no understanding of what a father’s role should be.

Instead of encouraging us to be independent and think for ourselves, he only had confidence in himself and questioned everything I ever did.

My mother was afraid of conflict. When I was criticized and ridiculed she never stood up for me.

Seeing these two people for the imperfect people that they were makes it easier for me to become the person I want to be.

Understanding the family I grew up with, makes it easier for me to move on and become the person I need to be.

As I grew older and read widely, I started discovering the wisdom of others and it changed me. For example,

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius

Now I know the Roman emperor was not talking about the weather or if someone is alive or dead, but he was talking about practically everything else.

As I moved from an employer who demanded 60 – 80 hours of work a week to only 40, I found time to write.

I’ve written five books and I look forward to writing others.

Probably, what has been most valuable and rewarding for me, is standing up for myself.

Like when I told the dental hygienist, I don’t need to see you four times a year. That was when I decided I needed a different dentist.

Like when the car mechanic smiled and told me our van needed a flush at 20,000 miles. That was when I decided it was time for a new mechanic.

Few things are more rewarding than standing up for ourselves and doing what we want to do.

Before we can shed our Imposter Syndrome, we need to understand those people who made us think less of ourselves and see them for who they truly are.

Each of us is a beautiful, capable person who has wonderful gifts to share with the world.

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Clark Finnical is a Career Expert and the author of  Job Hunting Secrets (from someone who’s been there) LinkedIn Strategies to Take Your Career to the Next Level ,   12 Lies Told To Job Seekers,  How to Stand Out: From All of the Other Candidates,  and   What No One Told You About Job Titles and Your Job Search 

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Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash