Do You Realize You’re Blackballing Yourself?

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Forty-two years ago I attended a pledge party at a fraternity at my college. Ultimately, I got three blackballs. Translated, this means, I wasn’t going to receive an invitation to join the fraternity. I was going to be excluded.

For years, I’ve heard people talk about being excluded in church and elsewhere, usually because of ‘cliques’.

While, there may be times  where there is a conscious effort to exclude,

Another thing, that can lead us to think we’re being excluded is,

Our Own Self-Image

Years ago I attended a church where I frequently saw two couples talking during the social hour.

These people, in my mind, really seemed perfect in so many ways.

They seemed perfect, because they appeared to be handsome and confident,

Two qualities, I never would have used to describe myself, at least back then, that is.

Looking back, I now realize,

They weren’t excluding me, I was excluding myself.
I didn’t consider myself worthy of being their friends.
I didn’t consider myself their peer.

Calling out and understanding those feelings is the first step toward overcoming them.

How about you?

Are you blackballing yourself.

Are you underestimating your value?

Malcolm Forbes once said,

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.”

I was once one of these people. My family of origin frequently seemed like it did not value me for all too often it ridiculed, criticized and laughed at me.

There is a reason Sam Walton said,

“You can learn from everybody.”

He was wise enough to realize the more he learned from others, the more successful he would become.

He saw the value in others, that we all too frequently do not see in ourselves.

Ultimately, God helped me to see my value.

Genesis 1:27 clearly states,

We are made in His image.

So follow Tim Fargo’s advice when he said,

“If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.”

Run from those who do not value you.

Seek those who appreciate you.

Twenty years ago, I started documenting my achievements.

This is a great exercise, because it enables us to say to ourselves,

Look at what I’ve done.

But don’t wait till you’ve documented your achievements.

Bless this world with everything that you have to offer.

Because you are an amazing person, made in God’s image.


Clark Finnical is the author of 

 Job Hunting Secrets (from someone who’s been there)

LinkedIn Strategies to Take Your Career to the Next Level , 

 12 Lies Told To Job Seekers,

 How to Stand Out: From All of the Other Candidates

What No One Told You About Job Titles and Your Job Search  

The Job Loss Mind Game: What Really Happened And What You Need to Do Now


Featured Photo by Tim Bogdanov on Unsplash

Article originally appeared in

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